Between People

I am constantly amazed by the relationships between people. How a simple word, a shrug, an unbidden smile can signify the beginning, or the end of a beautiful friendship. The dynamics between two people, be they friends, family, or lovers is never a linear path. Often, we find it to be a twisted path. At times narrow and bleak, at times showing the beauty of this world.

In relationships, I guess that it is a most edifying and enlightening experience to be on the receiving end of forgiveness... And, I would imagine, to be the one forgiving others. We all make mistakes. Often, it takes but one party to make the first move, and a beautiful relationship is preserved. Often, in our anger, pride, shame, we forget that there is no 'right' or 'winners' in matters relating to others. And this often signals the end for many, whom fate has brought together.

I would like to live to see a world where people would take pains to treasure their friends and loved ones... Keeping close those who are true, rather than those who are 'better', because there can be no one better, than the one who is true to you.

Looking into the Lonely Basin

Shot of vodka to the head.

Muses.

Quietly-like before the flickering screen.

The paths taken that lead to this point. As seasons pass before him. The river of time runs on... Even as he stands on the bank. All journeys but have one end. Death.

Numb.

As the alcohol takes over... Tears falls. But thats okay. Thats alright. That is merely the alcohol. It allows him release, which he would otherwise store. Keeping it buried, deep within. Likely a tumour. A cancer... Which will burn from within and eats him alive.

A clear mind is not what is needed. Regret do not come for one who lives his life with none. Not at this point, not at this moment, not ever. Though a flicker of it lingers, like the warm glow of a fine wine... The taste it leaves in his mouth... The aroma...

Solitude.

Man is born alone. He lives alone. And dies alone. Anon.

Lonely

Mr Lonely
by Akon

Lonely, I'm Mr lonely,
I have nobody,
for my owwwn
I’m so lonely,
I’m Mr Lonely
I have nobody,
for my owwnnn
I’m so lonely

Y'all, this one here,
Goes out to all my players out there, man, ya know
They got that one good girl, dawg
That’s always been there man, like
took all the bullshit
Then one day she can’t take it no more
And decided to leave

Yeah
I woke up in the middle of the night
And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
Coulda sworn I was dreamin',
For her I was feenin',
So I had to take a little ride,
Back tracking on these few years,
Tryin figure out what
I do to make it go bad,
Cause ever since my girl left me,
My whole life can crash in a moment.. , I’m so

Lonely (so lonely),
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

I’m so lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

Can't believe I had a girl like you
And I just let you walk right outta my life,
After all I put you through you still stucked
Around and stayed by my side,
What really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby
You a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right,
Cause, without you in my life girl, I’m so

Lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

I’m so lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

Been all about the world ain't never met a girl
That can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come
Where you'd get up and run
And I would be out chasing you
Cause ain't nowhere in the globe I'd rather be,
Ain't no one in the globe I’d rather see
Then the girl of my dreams that made me be
so happy but now so lonely

Lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

I’m so lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

Never thought that I would be alone (be alone),
I didn’t think you'd be gone this long, (gone for long)
I just want you to call my phone, So stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home),
Baby girl I didn't mean to shout, (ohhh)
I want me and you to work it out, (work it out)
I never wished to have aHurt my baby (Hurt my baby)
And it’s drivin me crazy cause I'm so

Lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

I’m so lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody for my own, girl)

Lonely, so lonely, lonely,
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely, so lonely), Mr. Lonely

The Phone

He looks at the phone with longing. Wanting to make the call. He reached out. Cold piece of metal and plastic conveying human warmth and well wishes.

It is enough that they breath the same air and share the warmth of the same sun.

He stayed his hand. And smiled.

The stork strikes!

Here's the latest addition to the family... My baby Cousin, Jocelyn Tan Jieling! Cheers!!! :-)

Coincidence :)

Just finished watching Takuya Kimura's Pride... A Japanese drama about romance and ice hockey... Pretty good...

I was playing the catchy theme song in my head, surfing a couple of websites and Blogs when to my surprise, I found the lyrics to the same song on a blog...

Haha... Coincidence? :)

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I Was Born To Love You
by Queen

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day...

chorus:
I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

You are the one for me
I am the man for you
You were made for me
You're my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity
I'd kill for your love

So take a chance with me
Let me romance with you
I'm caught in a dream
And my dream's come true
It's so hard to believe
This is happening to me
An amazing feeling
Comin' through

chorus:
I wanna love you
I love every little thing about you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Yes I was born to love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Every single day - of my life

An amazing feeling
Coming through

chorus:
Yes I was born to love you
Every single day of my life

Go, I love you babe
Yes I was born to love you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
I wanna love you
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely
Yeah, I want to love you
Yeah, give it to me

Charmed? Hahaha!!

I was so bored today that I did some questionnaires and got these... Hahaha! True/False?

I guess only those who knows me best can judge ;)

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Your Seduction Style: Sweet Talker

Your seduction technique can be summed up with "charm"You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone...Well, you won't be talking for long! ;-)You're great at telling potential lovers what they want to hear.Partially, because you're a great reflective listener and good at complementing.The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person.Your "sweet talking" ways have taken you far in romance - and in life.You can finess your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face.Speeding tickets, job interviews... bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life*

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The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

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You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romanceYou love to kiss under the stars or by the seaThe perfect kiss involves the perfect moodIt's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

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How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Dead system... Old system...

I am pretty sure I should be asking for a transfer next year.

Please do not misunderstand me. Its not the students. Its the system. My frequent run ins with the system and my superiors should be common knowledge by now. The bottom line is that I simply cannot work for an organization that has differing ideals from me. Or, to put it this way, that do not live up to its own ideals.

For me, the purpose of an education system should exist to serve the students. To provide them with opportunities to excel, to progress, to provide them recognition for their efforts and hard work...

But.

I am tired of fighting the system. My system. My kids may be naughty, they may be hard to teach. But deep down inside, they are like all of us. All they require is for someone to have faith in them, to trust them, and to guide them. They need someone to give them a chance, and I am feeling tired fighting the system, fighting just to give them that chance. The system simply writes them off so often, even when they make the grade, even when they fight so hard. I cannot understand why their hard work and effort, their core character and work attitude are so often ignored. Are results all that matter? What about when they make the grade then? Why deny them then and give the excuse that their character might be in doubt? Why tell the parents that the teachers' opinions matter when our opinions were never taken into account, and force us to accept their decision and toe the company line?

I may call them rascals, fools, etc... But.

ha... Oh well, I guess I'll be looking for an idealistic school. A school which believes in giving its students a chance, having faith in their ability to succeed rather than a school which closes the door... Often because it is so much easier to close a door than to open one.

Updates: Part 2

Here goes...

September

Well, the second highlight of September is the controversy over a trip to Taiwan. Now that its over (more or less), with the carcasses been removed, the blood soaked into the dust, the walls are cleaned of brain tissue etc... I feel that I may have my say now.

Actually, the entire issue can be summed up with one word. 'I'. Yes... 'I'. Both sides have their own points of view, their problems lie with the fact that it is very difficult for them to accommodate the other side's point of view. Hence 'I'.

The same goes for me... I was lamenting that no one spattered a thought for me too. For example, why should I be shunted off to one side when I have been one of the originators of the plan? Why should I be so busy looking for deals, contacting people, collecting money etc? And at the end of it all, be shunted off to another group, as if I know one side better than the other? I felt betrayed... Belittled... Made use of... Angry... GGGrrrrR...

Sigh...Well, I guess I have made emergency plans... I can always elope with my 'gay' buddy K if anything goes wrong, hahaha!! Or better yet, watch the catfight from a corner ;)

Conclusion?

None at all... In psychology, we learn about self serving biaseness and how it serves to distort our world view around us. I am not so... Full of it that I can claim that I am free from it. The most I can do is that I know and I am aware of it and thus will try very hard not to let it shape my views and attitudes towards others.

I guess what this world needs more is a lot of tolerance... Perhaps love.... World Peace!! Hahaha!!! ;)

Updates: Part 1

Well... Its been a while since my last update. Been hearing some complaints about that, haha, so here goes... A few months mumblings all at one shot ;-)

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August

Not a lot here... Basically its work work and more work. Since its an update, suffice to say that I won't bore any readers here so long I keep it short and sweet, haha :-)

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September

Teacher's Day

Received a large number of presents and cards. Thank you kids... Especially for the porcupine-y card that is supposed to resemble my hair... And that nice card from my debaters, and from my Normal Tech kids, my former students, etc etc. Really appreciated the effort. The chocolates helped too, but... Haha... I have to say NO in the future... Not to the cards, just the chocolates... Mr Goh is ballooning... Haha... Don't want to follow in the footsteps of Mr A*** ya know? ;)

September Week Break

Got bombed... Arrowed actually, but its such a big arrow, it might as well be a bolt from a balista. Been called to co-lead a student team to climb Mt Kinabalu. 4 days of holidays burnt! Argh!!! And with the dept meetings, setting of exam papers and stuff, that's like... Another 3 days burnt... Plus a couple of days for prepping and shopping for equipment etc... Its all gone, gone!!! No Hols for ME!!!

Surprisingly, it was a fun trip on the whole... I outdid myself by hauling my big fat ass up the mountain... Haha... All the way to the 4065m mark before I stopped. 30 m from summit. Why? I wish I can answer that question. The best I could do was that, well, I felt that there's nothing left to prove. I am near the top, 30m either way don't mean a thing anymore... ;)

Anyway, it was fun beating half the kids, and a guide up the mountain... Hahaha... And the view was fantastic too.

Anyway, a picture says a thousand words, so...

Here's me, looking smug before the climb...

The long rocky road... Like the Energizer Ad, it just goes on...

And on...

And on...

The 2nd day's climb started at 2am... In many ways, its a race against the rising sun...

But the view at the top... Was most spectacular... Agreed?

Can't forget a few dorky photos of me in winter wear... Hahaha!!

Finally, the highlight of the entire trip... Seafood! Where else can you get 2 abalones, 1 claypot sharksfin, 10 prawns and a steamed fish all to yourself for less than S$30?? Yum Yum!! I'm stuffed!!! ;-)